Fuel for the Soul
What do you do with the messages of love and appreciation you receive? Cards and letters are easy: keep them around for a while and then either throw them out or stash them away in a draw. But what about text messages and emails? If you’re like me you’ll keep them on your phone or computer for some time and then, when the inbox is getting too full, reluctantly and sadly delete them. And what about the loving and encouraging things people say to us in conversation, and even the good things we hear second hand about us? It’s true that you can live on a good compliment for ten days. Some of those compliments actually make it to our long term memories, but most of them are eventually forgotten. The fact is that our brains ‘leak’ and even the good things we would like to hold on to can get lost.
Our decluttering expert, Angella Gilbert, got me thinking when she tackled the subject of decluttering memorabilia and photos. We can and should preserve those reminders of happy times, people and places, so why not preserve those messages of love and appreciation? The ‘why nots’ say: “I would be embarrassed if anyone knew I was doing this because it’s self indulgent and makes me look self absorbed. If I kept a notebook or had a folder on my computer it would be a guilty little secret.” This is, of course, total nonsense.
The ‘whys’ are that we absolutely require love to live enjoyable and productive lives; without it we shrivel inside. There is nothing self absorbed about needing air, water and food and in going to great lengths to ensure we have them, so why should our souls apologise for craving their fuel, which is love? Another reason is that we need fresh courage to take on the challenges of each day. Remembering that we’re loved and admired brings out the best in us, inspires us to work hard and with persistence for others and gives ammunition to shoot down those negative messages that bombard our brains. We become more appealing people in every way.
Another reason for preserving those messages of affirmation is that we women are relational to the core. We are wired to form, maintain and delight in relationships and this is why it feels sad and wrong to discard those tangible signs of our most treasured relationships. Keeping them is also a way of honouring those people who went to the trouble of expressing their thoughts about us. Anyone we permit to see our collection gains a glimpse into the depths of our heart. That person, if they have any sensitivity at all, will recognise this as a privilege and won’t criticise.
My collection is starting instantly. I wish I’d started it as soon as I learned to read and write.
